The Cast

Robert Smith (Guitars, Vocals)

Robert is not the lead singer from the Cure. Though they have the same name and hairstyles and play the same instrument, note the lack of guyliner and lipstick. It’s a dead giveaway.

Scott Hargis (Keys, Vocals)

Scott has a family tree that dates back to U.S. presidents and Scottish royalty. He also has an MFA in jazz performance. With that pedigree, Scott has chosen to dedicate his life to pop music. Way to go Scott.

Ben Cirillo (Bass)

Ben lost his chance to become an all-star NFL quarterback when it was uncovered that he throws like a goddam pansy. Instead, he plays bass with the vain hope that people will like him.

Tony Alberti (Drums)

Tony has taught scores of drummers the art and craft of percussion, many of whom have gone on to achieve more fame and success than he ever will. He’s hoping Veipa Cray will launch him into the annals of rock history. It won’t, but none of us are going to tell him.